Bonjour ami’s ca va? I hope everyone is well and looking forward to the weekend.
I don’t usually ramble on my blog as I like to keep things positive and strive to keep certain facets of my life private but there comes a time when you just have to get things off your chest.
As most of you know Bec is my step-daughter however she’s been calling me mum for over two years now at her own volition. I know as a mother it can be hard to accept your child will call someone else mum once your ex re-marries as I divorced my ex a long time ago and he almost married someone (she came to her senses about him hehe) when the kids were quite young. And to be honest it would have been difficult to get used to them calling her mum but she was the sort of person I would have been friends with even if I had of met her a different way therefore I was fine with the kids calling her mum because she acted like one.
I am over labels, mum, step-mum, dad, step-dad, brother, step/half-brother and so on. I was last night told I am not Becs’ real mum only the ‘step-mum’. This yet again infuriates me as Chris and I have been raising Bec together, along with all the other kids for almost two and a half years now…..It’s me who gets her up for school, drops her and picks her up, I look after her when she’s sick with the flu or throwing up in the middle of the night, it is Chris and I who are instilling morals, values, principles and a conscience in her yet apparently all I do is nothing because I didn’t give birth to Bec.
Years ago I watched the movie Stepmom with Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts and it hit on a lot of real issues when two mothers are involved. It can also be difficult for the kids involved if there’s tension between both mothers…..if you haven’t watched it you must it’s an amazing movie.
But my main peeve is why is being a stepmom any less of a role in a child’s life if the biological mum isn’t on the scene except for access visits….why should I be made to feel that I’m just the babysitter who’s filling in for someone who put her child with me 24/7…… I think it’s high time women stopped working against each other and work with each other no matter what the problem is….why as women when we’re all supposed to be grown and mature do a few still hold onto high school behaviour and act out of spite and jealousy?? It’s something I will never understand or approve of, life is too short to be arguing over who’s more of a mother. The point is Bec and many other kids (including my older kids) are lucky to have two mothers or two fathers because then if one is out of action and not able to help they can turn to the other parent for guidance and help.
And on a final thought on this, shouldn’t the love and concern of the children involved come first above petty issues someone might have about the relationship that grows and bonds a stepmother and a child together….? I think very much so it should.
On a much lighter note keep your eyes open as one room makeover will be happening in the next 24hrs and I’m dying to share it with you, also another shabby chic chair has come up beautifully which I’ll also share…….So excuse my ramble, have a great day and I hope you’ve got lots planned for the weekend and I’ll be back soon…..Au revoir….xo